Sacred Ground

Today has left me feeling amazing and overwhelmed and grateful and humble all in one great big stroke of genius somehow. I have hesitated to put words to it, because it seems bigger than what words can convey. But I have to try. Because I'm a words person - and the words help me process.

Edith got baptized today. She's had the desire to be baptized for about a year, so it's been a bit in coming. Generally in our church the dad's do the baptizing because they are the spiritual head of the family, but in our case, I am. So about a year ago I asked our pastor if that meant I could baptize her - I fully expected a "no." I told him I'd acquiesce to him if it was not okay. He said he saw no issue with it, but he'd have to run it up the totem pole - and a few months later the verdict came back down: it was a go. My heart soared.

I've had moments since then where I wonder if I'm worthy of the honor- sometimes I feel like I have a huge amount of flex in my spiritual walk. But for the most part, we've both been looking forward to it. We had to skip over the June baptism because she was up in Iowa visiting family (trust me, I strongly considered canceling the trip but decided Corn Country is also good for her soul).

Finally the day came - complete with the pre-service meeting about what was going to happen. And then in the middle of the meeting we got the word that the City closed the river due to all the rain. Baptism postponed. We were both pretty disappointed.

The river flooding wasn't the only hitch in the giddy up - in fact if was probably fairly minor in the grand scheme of things. There's been some intense family differences of opinion going on. Also her best friend's father and I have had a huge disagreement. All this was hanging in the air weeks before - who would come and who would not come? With the closing of the river, everything that was already stressful hovered and lingered. I know a baptism is not all about who comes and who doesn't come, so it would have been amazing no matter what. I get that.

She's old enough - she gets it, too - she understands what broken relationships are. It hurts her heart, but she gets it, even though she didn't cause it or want it.

So today when her Papa and Granny, her Daddy and her Ashley, Ashley's mom her Omi, her Queen Stacie and her Uncle Scott, her three nieces with their own three stories, her best friend and her dad, and her godmother who had been at the coast for her own birthday all managed to make it to her baptism, she got it. She saw it. She recognized it.

The pastor asked, "Before we get to the baptism, did anyone want to say anything else?" Edith raised her little 8 year old hand. I sucked in my breath and held it - oh, dear sweet God, what was she going to say?

She simply said, "I just wanted to thank everyone in my family for coming to my baptism. It really means a lot to me." Most people in the audience probably thought that was just so sweet and standard and maybe even trite, but I knew the truth behind it. She was grateful for reconciliation - for people loving her in the face of adversity - loving her despite divorce, break ups, bitter arguments, and business problems. She was grateful for people laying themselves down. While no one broke bread together, she recognized that she had a real live miracle in front of her - for her.

It made her heart full.

When we got in the water she was nervous and I told her to just forget about all those people and relax. And she did. Baptizing that sweet child was about the most amazing moment I have ever had - it was humbling. I cannot explain it - it was like nothing else existed except us and Them. Time held still - sacred is my very best word.

All of that that happened today was on sacred ground.

I'm just super glad we were both barefooted!