Truth

Let's just throw this God crap out.
That's is not what I am about.

Let's be real and examine what's true
Instead of what people created to soothe
Their minds and their fears of what's real.
What truly matters in the grand scheme of things?
Without fairies or poppets or any of those things?

I dug to the very core of my own being
For the first time, without blinders,
I was actually SEEING.
I asked if I could have this or have that,
Which would I choose? Which can't be moved?
If I had to choose between one ideal or another, which would it be?
And the thing that I always chose was my Integrity.
*That* was the thing that I would be.
But then I broke it down further
To its most basic form:
And truth as my core value was perfectly born.

Truth I already had! Lying within me.
All I had to do was to choose it, to proclaim it, and that perfectly.
I fortified my self with it - it became my being
Because truth, when 100%, cannot be deceiving.
All would know me, Ami, as truthful and pure.
I had it. I'd solved it. Alone. And SO sure.

The truth I told, even when it pained me
Even if it cost me, it truly became me.

And it all worked out great
Until that day came about
That no one believed me.
I was incredulous. Floored.
How I did cry and indignantly shout!
How could this be?
I spoke the TRUTH. ALWAYS!
How could they not see that?
My world turned sickeningly sideways.
My anger dumped colors
On my own tapestry.
How can I portray to you my complete misery?
I told them and told them,
But they would not believe.

My Truth .... Was garbage
My values ... My reason ....
All wrong? Was it possible?
Can an ideal be guilty of treason?
How could it be so easily defied?
How could they simply cast my truth aside?
In those moments a huge part
Of me completely died.
I lost faith in mankind, in my own sense of worth.
I circled, and stumbled, and fell to the earth.

I've come to realize, after years of soul searching,
That I was so close, yet I was missing completely.
The Truth *did* in fact, lie within me,
But I didn't create it or make it or earn it.
I didn't even have to go prove it.
Funny enough, it was not up to me at all to do it.
Truth is, I was the one who had silenced His voice.
I had shut him down and taken over my soul as my own, by my very own choice.
Yet He is the way, the truth AND the life.
Not me, independently, in my own right.

And finally the Truth, He did set me free.
And rightfully took His seat at the pinnacle of me.